Holly T. Ashley

Oh did I type that outloud?


Woman of Wisdom: Woman of Folly

Lesson 2: “The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down” (Pr. 14:1).

“Wisdom has built her house; she has hewn her seven pillars” (Pr. 9:1).

“By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established” (Pr. 24:3).

A wife is to submit herself graciously to the servant leadership of her husband even as the church willingly submits to the headship of Christ. She, being in the image of God as is her husband and thus equal to him, has the God-given responsibility to respect her husband and to serve as his helper in managing the household and nurturing the next generation.[1]

I believe one of the things that is disrupting the Christian family more than anything else these days is the lack of the fear of the Lord. Because we do not fear God, we do not “love” our neighbor, we do not “submit” to our husbands, and we do not “discipline” ourselves or our children.

Proverbs 14:1 declares that a woman can totally annihilate her life by her disobedience to Christ’s commands. She might have been able to marry, have children, manage her finances, to the point of believing that she was secure – but true character shines through when the cracks begin to show, and she starts to fall apart. She looks elsewhere to fill the void, maybe a new job, more education, more time to “find herself.”

She blames others for the lack of discipline in her children and her husband just doesn’t “measure up” to what she deems appropriate for a husband.

Somehow, she has forgotten that she is a servant. That the Bible has commanded us (all) to serve and He has orchestrated life so that there is no way around it…

Whether you are working for a company – where you serve customers, or your supervisor. Or you are an executive, serving your employees. Maybe you have decided to go back to school to “find yourself” but you quickly realize that once again, you are under the authority of a professor who you must serve in the way he deems necessary in order to pass the class.

Maybe you don’t work outside the home, but you have joined Bible studies or ministries where … once again, you serve.

With each decision to serve in some other capacity than that of our home, the cracks that we ignore become bigger problems that affect the very foundation of our home and when it crumbles, we almost never look to ourselves to see where we have gotten off course of God’s plan for women.

“Let not those who hope in you be put to shame through me, O Lord God of hosts; let not those who seek you be brought to dishonor through me, O God of Israel” (Ps. 69:6).

If we have taken on the responsibility of a marriage and children, then they are our first ministry. It is quite that simple.

Our husband and our children find their hope in Christ – and Christ says we are to give honor and respect to our husbands and love, training, and discipline, to our children – anything less is putting them to shame.

If that doesn’t bother you, then you have no fear of the Lord.

God has given a tremendous amount of responsibility to women. And it begins with how we manage our home… or rather, how we serve those who are not just in our home, but how we use our home to serve others.

Proverbs 31, beginning with verse 10 explains not only the attributes of a godly woman, but also the providential nature of the woman who has been created in the image of God.

She is her husband’s biggest cheerleader (v. 1) He trusts in her – He can be “naked and unashamed” because she would never reveal his fears, failures, or deepest concerns to others (even in the context of a woman’s “prayer group.” She would never relive past hurts (verbally or internally), but rather be forgiving as God has forgiven her. Choosing not to remember them “as far as the east is to the west” (Ps. 103:12), never to bring them up again – or use them like ammunition at a later date.

She gives him a safe place to fall – knowing that he can trust her with anything he throws her way because when he hurts, she hurts – He is her beloved and she is his (SOS 6:3).

Whether he realizes it or not.

Proverbs 31:13-19 Tells us that she is a hard worker – making sure that her house is a home. She provides prepares meals and makes sure her children are appropriately dressed – even if she must rise earlier than anyone else and stay up later than anyone else. She budgets her family’s finances and considers each purchase she makes.

Proverbs 31:20-22 Instructs us to be perceptive – Seeing a need and meeting it. We are also be looking at the future seasons that are coming – and prepare for it (not complain, not worry, not having anxiety over it – or making anyone else’s life miserable about it) – but serving our families by being prepared, so they can have a home that is a refuge.

And she does it with confidence: Not only does she dress for success (v. 22) but her inward spirit exudes “strength and dignity” (v. 25) – so much is her confidence in the Lord that she can laugh at the times to come and look forward to the future, knowing – believing – and acting on the fact that what God says is true.

Proverbs 24 Shows us that we can indeed work outside of our home – as long as our priorities are in order.

Because our home is built on the wisdom of obedience, our children revere our authority as their mother (even when their behavior isn’t always in line with that). Our husband is confident to rise up and be all that he is called to be, not afraid of failure – able to step out in faith because he knows his woman… his best friend… his beloved will always have his back (v. 28).

But God doesn’t leave it there.

She is also responsible to speak up – She is commanded to teach other women how to love their husbands and children and how to manage her home (Pr. 31:26, Tit. 2:3-5).  She is obedient to the command of holiness and dressing in appropriate attire (1 Tim. 2:9-10). She is able to lead that conversation in confidence, because her life is its reflection.

… and she does it all without complaint, because it is commanded by her Lord, God, and Savior – regardless of what the world might tell her:

“Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people” (Phil 2:14-16).

If you are new to this Bible study – Welcome! You will have a week before the next lesson is posted, and I suggest, you start at the beginning with Lesson One. I look forward to hearing from you.

Today’s lesson is very simple, yet very detailed. If you do it, you will grow and be blessed, I promise. But not without discomfort… In order to grow in your faith and “find yourself” as it relates to Scripture, we must be honest with ourselves, laying down all pride and arrogance, letting go of past hurts and feelings (because they will just weigh you down and keep you from growing) and simply analyze your own thoughts and behaviors to see if they align with Scripture.

If they don’t then repentance is required.

Read Proverbs 31: 10-31 and ask yourself, “Am I a woman who is worthy to be praised?”

Where are you lacking?

Where can you improve?

Read Titus 2: 3-5 – What are God’s commands specifically for women?

Titus 2:3–5 ESV

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

List the specific attributes of a Titus woman:

  1. Reverent in ___________________ (inside and outside the home).
  2. Not ________________ (aka: gossips).
  3. Not _______ to too much __________.
  4. Teach what is __________.
  5. Train _________ women.
  6. To ____________ their ____________ and their ____________.
  7. Be ____________ – controlled, ______________, working at ____________.
  8. Kind and _______________ to their own _______________. (not every man on the planet, that is – but your husband).
  9. So that the __________ of God may not be _______________.

Please continue by reading 1 Tim 2:9-10 and 1 Tim 3:11: “Likewise, also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works”  (and) “Their wives likewise must be  dignified , not  slanderers , but    sober-minded ,   faithful   in all things”  

  1. Women should adorn themselves in ____________ apparel.
  2. With __________ and ______________ – _______________.
  3. With what is ____________ for ______________ who PROFESS ______________ with good ____________.
  4. Wives must likewise be _________.
  5. Not _____________.
  6. But __________ minded. ____________ in all things.

And finally, 1 Tim 4:12 commands us to “Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity. Let no one despise you but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.”

Be the example.





[1] Systematic Theology: An Introduction to Bible Doctrine Baptist Faith and Message

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This entry was posted on January 28, 2019 by in Call to Action, New Year. New You. and tagged , , , , , .
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