Oh, did I type that outloud?
I wonder if he would have jumped out of that window if he would have known the truth?
I wonder if she would have stayed in abusive relationships if she would have realized that Jesus thought she was worth dying for?
I wonder if he would have resorted to stealing and drugs and a life of crime if he would have known that hurt happens and there is hope.
I wonder if she wouldn’t have died lonely and desperate.
I wonder if she would have not committed suicide.
I wonder if she would have a sound mind today?
I wonder if he would be in prison.
I wonder if he would be homeless.
I wonder if he would be an alcoholic.
Don’t they know that you watched their parents get beaten and molested? Don’t they know that you are a murderer, cheater and an adulterer? Don’t they know that you paid for your high school child’s abortion to save face? Don’t they know that you were beaten down and abused too?
Didn’t you tell them that you are a liar and a thief that you have been imprisoned by bitterness and hate too? Didn’t you tell them that you are a manipulator and have hurt many people too?
Or do you just condemn them?
And shove your newest shiny (never opened) Bible in their faces?
Do you stand on the sidelines of the lives of your family and friends and watch them spin slowly down this proverbial drain of life straight to hell and simply state, “Well, if you only had Jesus.”
What about the family members who know you – the “real person” … that person you try to hide to your church family – these people.. your family and friends who don’t have the support you have and who can’t make their mistakes disappear like you did? These people who don’t deny the truth of their wretched lives, but try to numb it away!
These people, who know that although on the surface your life might appear to be fabulous – but they are the one who gave up their childhood to protect you from the repeated abuse and molestation of other family members. They are the ones who went out drinking and partying with you on the weekends – until you found the next one to take you in and pay your bills and raise your children…. These people who know you.
You can’t beat people up who protected you and then lie to their children and tell them that if their parents “wouldn’t have been so careless in the way they lived their lives…” because eventually you will be accountable for the lies that you call your life.
The hurt in this family is deep. There is a cavern that is deeper than the Grand Canyon with a river of blood flowing through the bottom that cuts the hearts of this family like the Colorado River cuts through rock.
They have witnessed molestation, rape, abuse, beatings, alcohol, drugs, prison, aids, suicide, and attempted suicide. There has been cancer, diabetes, renal failure, gangrene, sclerosis of the liver and more.
That’s just on one side of this family. And there hasn’t been one saved soul out of any of the tragedy. Mostly because of the lack of truth, the sea of lies and misperceptions that lie (pun intended) within the one family member who claims salvation from a life of … well, in her words, perfection.
According to her she has never drank, smoked, did drugs or had any life other than that of sheer bliss. Yes, according to her, she was a model daughter who borrowed her father’s car until she could by one of her own and never took a dime for support from anyone yet supported everyone while living her life of purity and financial stability and even bought her mother a washer and dryer when she moved out of the house –
To marry a gun wielding friend of the family, who would turn out to be husband number one of three – father to two children that he would chose never see again after he pulled a gun on her and she called her brother to come and rescue her… where she returned home to live with her mother….. Until one night… in a bar… several months pregnant, she ran into her old high school friend who she later married and divorced after having another child and multiple affairs, one being with her next door neighbor, husband’s best friend and her boss…. Whom she then married….
The fact that together they have been married 5 times, and only one has actually graduated from high school is a secret so is the daughter with three children, two that are illegitimate after 3 or 4 abortions, and continues to move in and out of their home… apparently to keep up with her oldest son who changes addresses amongst the willing family members who want to raise him that month…. Her stint in jail was labeled as a “month at a spa…” for anyone they thought would believe it. Yes. They live in quite the fairy tale.
Kids grow up and hear things that are not forgotten. They see things and know that they are not right. Even after years of molestation, rape, abuse she was not immune she just learned to shut up … no one was going to protect her anyway, she learned that early on and – just like these other family members who are doomed to hell by the actions of those who will say, “Lord, Lord…” she was blessed by being chosen and escaped the perils of this miserable family.
She know too much and sometimes that can be a down fall, especially when another tragedy strikes and she is asked to “Pray.” What am I praying for, she prays? “Let there be nothing covered that will not be revealed.” Yes. That is what I will pray for. Let the “Truth set you free.”
“On that day many will say to me, “Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?” And then will I declare to them, “I never knew you; depart from me, you evildoers.” (Matt. 7:21–23)
Life is short and God gives us the opportunity to use our lives… our miserable, messed up, God-forsaken lives to tell His story of grace, love, mercy and the best part- Redemption – to others!