Holly T. Ashley

Oh did I type that outloud?

The problem with Christian men? Christian Women!

“A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent” (1 Tim. 2:11-12).

Well, that counts me out. And those of you who know me would agree… Silent would mean I’m in a coma. So how in the world can I stand up and declare that what is wrong with Christian men today is their women?

Because there is a difference. And today’s Christian women have fallen into the liberal belief that women can rule the world… and the Bible says no you won’t.

Not that you can’t…

God says, “Not in my house.”

He and He alone, because He can- puts limits on what a woman can and cannot do- just the same as everything else that He created. We are mere clay, ladies. And today’s women, I must say “ladies” is a stretch from what I am seeing… In and out of the church pew… or chair, whatever the case may be.

In the church… the Bible says that I, a woman, should be limited to my particular role. And that a oman should not, ever, have authority over a man (1 Timothy 2: 13-14) and it all started in the garden.

God created Adam first and then created Eve to be a “helper” for Adam. This order of creation has universal application in the family and the church – Ephesians 5:22-33.

The Bible tells us that Adam was not the one deceived… does that mean that women are more easily deceived? That’s debatable, however, the Bible does refer to women as the “weaker vessel” (1Peter 3:7).  Just say’n…

We do cry more. We are way more emotional… We are not the warriors we think we are… only in childbirth but my husband could and would take my bullet without so much as a tear…

So why do women have such a freaking issue with this?

Well, in my opinion – We don’t read and study our Bibles. You know the part where it says we are to be obedient to our husbands…. If we actually read that, believed it and took it to heart I bet we would be a whole lot more careful as to who we married.

guaranteed any divorced woman will tell you (and some married), if he doesn’t honor and respect you while you are dating… he won’t after you get married either –


Our fault.

The other reason is Eve’s fault and it all happened when she was tempted and then persuaded her hubby to join in…

Sound familiar?

Yep, we do that to this day.

The other part of the curse that He gave to women in the Garden, which is rarely preached from the pulpit as it needs to be… but heaven forbid we offend a woman… is that we will constantly do battle for power with our husbands:

“Your desire shall be for your husband and he shall rule over you”  (Gen. 3:16).

The Hebrew term here translated “desire” (teshuqah) is rarely used – however it does appear in 4:7 in a statement where God is telling Cain that sin “desires” him and that he (Cain) must rule over it…. Which of course, he did not and in that instance it led to murder of Able… Whereas in our relationships, it does the very same thing…

It even has the effective result of killing the men who have been caught in the proverbial cross-fire. We will get to that in moment – minor issue… it’s just our witness to others… like the entire freaking world…

That is not to say that women cannot teach, minister, speak, write, etc…. it means that there is an ORDER and women are under men in the church and at home. Therefore, we, women, are limited as to how we exercise the gifts of the Holy Spirit. 1 Cor. 11:5, 1 Cor. 12, Gal. 5:22-23 and Matthew 28:18, Acts 1:8; 1 Peter 3:15- All state we, women are not restricted from public prayer or ministry, or proclaiming the gospel to the lost– but ONLY from having spiritual teaching authority over men.

Why? Well, beyond the curse – it is God’s ordained order Christian men are to set the example for all men to follow, same to Christian women – we are to model Christian behavior for non-Christian women to see… to see and understand that God’s plan is much better than that of the world.

Look at how screwed up we are! It took one single woman in the sixties to take prayer out of school and now… seriously!

Look at the women’s movement of the sixties and the rate of divorce, domestic violence, abortion, single mothers raising illegitimate children… and I won’t dare even touch on the immodesty of women and rape… except to say that all statistics have skyrocketed since the dawn of “Women’s Liberation” and the fight for “equality.”

What is really sad, is no one said we weren’t equal. We just have different roles.

“The heart of her husband trusts in her… She does him good and not harm,” (Prov. 31:11-12). The problem we have today – is that with women fighting for control and leadership roles, there is no way the heart of her husband can trust that she is not going to emasculate him or “veto” his leadership – or worse divorce him; Whether that be in the church, in the home, in front of his observant children, or as this passage talks about… “In the gates…” where he sits with the other leaders… or in our world his work, his masculinity. All of it can he trust you? Deep in his heart?

This is crucial!

When God created man, he created everything for him… and God Himself stated that it was “not good for man to be alone,” (Gen. 2:18) and that nothing that was created was good enough so He fashioned woman as a helper. And that in and of itself is huge!

Our nature, as described in Proverbs 31 is that of a woman who works from dawn till dusk to make sure that her family is taken care of and they want for nothing – She is strong and a hard worker, she makes sure that her children and her husband are dressed in the finest of linens and that they will not fear a famine or hard weather – because she has done her part – This is a woman of God. This is a woman in God’s order.

These and these women alone are the women who deserve the praise that God promises to them.

My issue is why we (women) cannot grab hold of this truth and celebrate who we are and how we were created? We are magnificent creatures specifically created for the glory of our man – that is significant. It is significant not because we will be praised – but by our actions even the unbelieving husband will be saved (1 Peter 3:1).

Do you not know that your marriage is a direct reflection on Jesus Christ and His church or as Jesus refers to the church: “His bride?”

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church,” (Eph. 31-32).

How then are can you reflect the bride of Christ, when you do not so much as reflect the bride that the Lord has designed for your husband?

You could be very bright and have all of the theological answers and degrees that go with it.  You might be an excellent speaker and writer. Your husband might not have all the answers and not quite seem to be the leader you want him to be or that the world says he should be.

But truth be told, he is the leader because God says he is. It is your job to make sure he is loved, honored and respected in that position.

Your husband needs to feel safe enough to lead you and family with confidence that you will not belittle him or emasculate or embarrass him. Because, that is not love.

I don’t see many women Christian or otherwise, who truly love their husbands today.

And this is what the Bible has to say about them, these women who want to rule the world, who want to stand behind a pulpit and lead the church, these who ordain themselves and call themselves pastors… These women who work constantly and leave their husbands at home to care for what the Bible says is the woman’s role… These contentious women who are not in God’s order…

The Bible says, “Better is a man to live in the corner of a house… in a desert… on a roof top…” then to be with you (found all over Proverbs).

Bottom line: God says that he’s better off without you.

You think I’m kidding – I’m not, read your Bible Start with Proverbs 31. We, women have absolutely destroyed our men and we will be held accountable.

I’m not saying you cannot work – I’m saying you need to make the bed, fix breakfast and lunch and take out dinner to thaw before you clean the kitchen, start the laundry and leave for work. Then make sure dinner is ready before your husband walks through the door, so that you can meet him with a kiss…

Do it right…. Maybe do it naked.

Just say’n… Titus 2:3-5 tells me to instruct women… I’m just instructing…


There are those who wish to make the statement about the women “leaders” in the Bible but I would advise you to take a closer look – these outstanding women usually has some outstanding men standing right beside them… Also note that using women like Deborah (who was a judge) you probably want to do some exegetical studies and some basic history… She’s not exactly known for her leadership skills, plus she was one of 12. Miriam’s mention was that of being a spouse of leaders… and then of course there were Athaliah and Jezebel, which I would hope women would want to run from…

Phoebe, mentioned in Acts 18 and again in Romans 16:1 is presented as a faithful minister or deaconess (not to be confused with deacon – which in the Greek is a masculine pronoun) for Christ- but nowhere is she or Priscilla, for that matter mentioned as leading anything – However- that being said… in my opinion… who do you think is supposed to minister to the women? Do you not think that God took care to make sure everyone was covered when He designed the order?

In the time period of Jesus, who was supposed to address the women? Men couldn’t do it they wouldn’t do it….

My husband and I have an agreement; I counsel women, he counsels men. We do not, ever put ourselves in a position whereby anyone would question our behavior – ie: I don’t do “girls nights” with a couple of girlfriends at a bar… where someone could see me and mistake that I was out chasing men… nor does he do “boys nights” whereby I would have to answer for him in any capacity.

Jesus understands that. He did then, and He does now.

Being a deaconess did not put Phoebe in charge of any man. She did not rule men. Nowhere does it even so much as imply that she was any more than deaconess as in a servant.

Priscilla was with her husband Aquila when they brought Apollos into their home and they both disciple him (Acts 18:26) whereby again, that would be appropriate and in line with God’s order. Priscilla is an excellent example of a helper to her husband as well as that  – she participated!

God doesn’t want to exclude women, He has a purpose for us, but we must stay in His order for it to be effective… or affect for the Kingdom.

Oh…. that’s right, the Kingdom…

Yeah, pride has something to do with it too….

I have not even began to talk about the bitter, harmful effects of being out-of-order, beside the consequence of divorce, but take a look at the disrespectful latch-key children we have raised. Look at the idiots we have voted into office because we are breeding politicians and not educating our children to be all that God has called them to be, we have an entitled nation who has no respect for anyone or anything other than themselves. We have desecrated the Bible, let alone this specific subject – there is so much more that stems from being out of God’s order and right now, as much as I would love to blame the men in this world for not putting on their big-boy pants… I have to blame the women for wearing them.


And let me just throw this in for the women reading to show I am totally not biased… For stupid men who object to women teaching because of education, that would be ridiculous, especially due to the fact that if education were a qualification for ministry, the majority of Jesus’ disciples would not have been qualified.


The Bible in 1 Tim 3:1-13; Titus 1:6-9 masculine pronouns are used exclusively to refer to elders, bishops and deacons. Women are not to hold these positions. But it has nothing to do with anything except God said so, from the creation of Adam.

Now for the remainder of objections by women: And I’m sure I’ll get plenty more…

But for right now…. those women who reject the order set forth by the Bible stating that Paul was referring to husbands and wives alone but if you were to study the actual Greek translation, the basic meaning of the words refers to men and women. Further, the same Greek words are used in 1 Tim. 8-10 – meaning that men and women are to lift holy hands to the Lord and that both men and women are to be modest in their appearance and have good deeds and worship God – to say otherwise (as in husbands and wives instead of men and women) would be in direct conflict with the actual translation and context.

I hear you saying… SCREAMING “That’s not “fair!”

I hear people say that when we talk about hell too… But God’s plan “is what it is,” whether you like it or not.

That’s God’s design. And its perfect.

As far as anything and everything that God designed, you can see it two ways:

The world’s way: “It’s not fair!”


God’s way- “Sit back, enjoy the ride… everybody do their part, I got this.”


2 comments on “The problem with Christian men? Christian Women!

  1. Pingback: The problem with Christian men? Christian Women! | Holly T. Ashley

  2. Kat
    July 16, 2014

    I didn’t know you felt this way. Not many do. I agree with you. I’m proud of you Holly. You’ll get a lot of flack for this (from men and women). Love you ~Kat

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