Holly T. Ashley

Oh did I type that outloud?

Heart Aches and Holidays…

I loved it when I heard your voice.

As you slipped into bed beside me- in your rambunctious way…

Climbing over me to wake me in your “subtle” way…

as you giggled…

I miss that giggle!


I touched your pretty hair, it was so soft…

I forgot how much I missed the smell of your shampoo.

And to hear you giggle again.

I couldn’t believe you got into the house and wondered for a moment how you got a key… but it didn’t matter, I was just glad you were there.


I heard the alarm, but hit the snooze…

I knew what it was, but I hit it again.

I didn’t want to wake up,

In my dream, you were about to wake up the baby and I wanted so desperately to see her –

it had been so long…

Does she even know who I am?


I couldn’t wait to touch her…

I wanted to hear about your life…

Before you went away again… because you always seem to go away.

You never seem to stay for long.

And then I go back to missing you…


I miss you so much.


How long will it be Lord, how long?

Will she ever know who Nana is? Will I ever hear her little feet run through my house?

Will she hug me and give me kisses?

Will I touch my little girl again? Will I hear her voice say “I love you mom.”

Will I hear her giggle and make funny faces?


How long must I wait? How many holidays must pass?

My heart aches so badly.praying hands

I miss them all so much.

I don’t want to sleep – I do want to sleep… I never want to wake up

if that is where they are.


“Hope deferred makes the heart sick…” (Prov. 13:12).

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This entry was posted on November 14, 2014 by in Children and tagged , , , , , , .
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