Oh did I type that outloud?
Today as I was scrolling through Face Book, a friend of mine called out a very popular saying… Referring it as blatant B.S.
You know, I gotta tell ya., I love BOLD people! Especially when they open my eyes to a new perspective on things like “sing-songy-sayings” that I have simply overlooked – Just like my friend Marshele Carter did today.
Let me let her explain how such a popular saying, well… Shouldn’t be so popular after all:
I’m calling BS on a quote I used to like:
“Love like you have never been hurt.”
When I first read it years ago, I thought it was brilliant. I bought a decorative version of it and hung it on my wall. I bought a coffee mug with the quote wrapped around it and drank from it daily. Today, after a decade of life-altering circumstances, I disagree with this idea…the suggestion that we should love like we’ve never been hurt.
Love that has never known pain is a shallow sentiment. But, love that has been injured, even mortally wounded, walks differently, talks differently, sees differently, hears differently, and therefore, loves differently.
Broken hearts go one of two ways– they go down a road of bitterness, shaking a figurative fist in everyone’s face into infinity or they go down a road of reassessment, restoration and eventually, complete renewal.
I no longer believe it’s best to love like you’ve never been hurt. If hurt has made you a better person, then love like you’ve been hurt! For everyone’s sake! Loving like you’ve been hurt doesn’t mean tightening your grip on the throats of those who hurt you. Loving like you’ve been hurt doesn’t mean sporting a woe-is-me, victim mentality. Loving like you’ve been hurt doesn’t mean keeping everyone at arm’s length.
Loving like you’ve been hurt means treasuring your relationships more deeply because you’ve known great loss. Loving like you’ve been hurt means being wiser in choosing whom to trust.
“Love like you’ve never been hurt?” Nah. No. Not any more. Today I’m going to find my fattest, black Sharpie and draw a straight line through the word “never” on my wall decor and my mug. Going forward, I’m going to love better BECAUSE of the hurt.
Great job Marshele – Thank you for being so aware of TRUTH!
xoxo – Holly