Holly T. Ashley

Oh did I type that outloud?

A message to my daughter…

And maybe yours too…

There are some things that I never taught you, some things that are so very important to the rest of your life.

Oh, I taught you Biblical precepts of being holy and that God commands us to walk worthy of the calling of a Disciple of Christ, but did I really teach you the way that God commands a mother to instruct her child?

“Train up a child in the way that they should go and even when they are old, they will not depart” (Proverbs 22:6).

I think back to rebuking you for the choices you made. The friends that you chose. The decisions that you made… as any good, God fearing woman should.

But did I ever teach you how to choose the man you would marry?

Did I instill upon you how precious you are and how beautifully and wonderfully you were made? That there was a reason behind the rebuke? A reason, so important that it would affect you for the rest of your life?

Did I ever tell you that dating is optional?

Did I ever teach you how to say, “no.”

Biblical manhood is defined in the Bible in many places, but none so specific as Titus 2 and 2 Timothy. These are the attributes that make up a godly leader and are the standard by which a man is worthy to date my daughter and if he does not meet these standards, then he is not able to fulfill God’s commands to him as to how to treat my daughter.

Therefore, say no.

If he cannot be a man who controls himself (Titus 2:6),

Say no.

If he cannot be a man who is a model of good works (Titus 2:7),

Say no.

If he cannot be a man of integrity (Titus 2:7),

Say no.

If he is not a man of respectful speech (Titus 2:8),

Say no.

If he argues (2 Tim 2:14),

Say no.

If he is a man who cannot rightly handle the Word of God (2 Tim 2:15),

Say no.

But, if he is a man who pursues righteousness, faith, love and peace (2 Tim 2:22);

Say yes.

If he is a man who will wash you in the Word (Eph. 5:27)

Say yes.

If he respects you, adores you and loves you enough to present you as the glorious gift that you are, without any spot or blemish caused by his unloving care, that in all things within his power and care for you, that you would be holy (Eph 5:27-29)

Say yes.

But if he is not this man, then give yourself permission to say no. Because God says you are worth far above rubies (Pr. 31:10) and you have His seal upon you (2 Cor. 1:22) and you are the apple of His eye (Zech 2:8). And therefore, you deserve His very best.

When you say “no”, you are not being a snob… you are not thinking of yourself as better than anyone else- on the contrary – you are setting standards for yourself, so that you can be all of the woman that God has created you to be, by choosing someone who strives to do the same.

That is simply being wise.

Wait for the right one and say no to the rest – This is a decision that will affect the rest of your life.



2 comments on “A message to my daughter…

  1. insanitybytes22
    September 22, 2016

    Raise the bar, I love that! We do need to teach our daughters some discernment, it’s a rough world out there and the world is telling a million things, most of it all wrong.

  2. annagracewood
    September 28, 2016

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s


This entry was posted on September 21, 2016 by in #raisethebar, Call to Action, Children, women and tagged , , , .
%d bloggers like this: